Do you ever feel like as a species humans are getting screwed over? We have to work jobs, we have to pay taxes, and WE DON’T GET TO HIBERNATE! So many other animals get to snuggle up during the winter months with a nice pile of food, while we go out in the cold and continue working. I’m calling for a HUMAN HIBERNATION!
I’m no expert in anything related to science. For a while, I was convinced that we could actually bring back dinosaurs via de-extinction after watching Jurassic Park lol. However Over the Hedge really got me thinking. In that movie, all the animals were preparing for hibernation, and when I saw all that delicious food they had stockpiled, (including some knockoff Pringles) I knew this was exactly what humans needed. I’m sure people are already getting close to hibernation with the pandemic, but it’s not the same when you have to work. So maybe we should demand that all companies give us a paid winter vacation…or maybe we can just convince our utility company to not shut our power off while we sleep.
I know I could easily find research on the internet that tells why it is that humans don’t hibernate, but no. Those articles are dream crushers, and we have to keep hope alive. I’m not even sure exactly what happens during hibernation. But I know animals get to sleep. And even if they aren’t asleep the whole time, they are probably in a state like when you get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and you don’t have any awareness of what you are doing. After all, it’s not like they have food teleporting to their bellies in their sleep. It is possible that they are lulled into a deep sleep after eating a ginormous meal, and what better time to start hibernation than when everyone is finishing up their Thanksgiving leftovers! Gather some snacks, count some sheep, and let the hibernation begin.